| "Give it back," says Inner Voice. I
keep on looking through the Moirascope with my right eye but a numbing realization clicks
into my mind, like a kaleidoscope image - click and its there all in one piece. "Give it BACK!" Voice insists. It is as if a veil has
vanished, revealing a whole new world of knowledge. A gateway, a portal into another
universe.
"GIVE IT BACK!!!" Voice screams and a piercing
headache splits my right temple. Voice is not fooling around. I quickly switch the
Moirascope back to my left eye. The headache stops, Voice peers into the Moirascope.
Now I know. It is so clear, so simple, I can't imagine how
I never suspected before. Inner Voice is the other hemisphere of my brain. The one
neurologists insist is the silent hemisphere. Only mine is no longer so quiet.
Of course. I have two brains, two big cell cities with a
population of some 5 billion little animals called neurons, linked by a narrow corpus
callosum containing only about 250 million of their tentacles. Each hemisphere does its
own thinking. They communicate via a limited number of neural links, with each hemisphere
an independent mind system.
The one looking out of the right eye is me. Dr. Richard
Chesher. Like a news commentator, I am the big name personality. I do the English Language
Broadcasts. I'm the talker. The other side, the one looking out of the left eye, is what I
always thought of as The Unconscious. It does not talk simply because the language center
is located in the other hemisphere. It produces poetry, music, and dreams. It links me to
that whole sphere of communal being I am only dimly aware of.
Unconscious is not the right word for it. Neither is the
alternate term subconscious. We have no label for the mind I sense over there in the other
hemisphere. That, itself is highly significant.
In deep states of meditation, the conscious mind links up
with this other mind. Hypnosis slides the conscious mind in the left hemisphere into sleep
and the hypnotist takes over the function of the blabbering conscious mind, giving
instructions to the other hemisphere - and the right hemisphere carries them out, making
people do things they otherwise could not or would not do.
My mind games work like that. I pass instructions to the
other hemisphere on how to perceive reality and it provides the required shift to make the
disk jockey see whatever is desired, such as apes driving cars.
I get up and pace back and forth, excited by the
implications, and unafraid because Walter is still wiped out. On impulse, I grab my trusty
dictionary and open it unerringly to the word THINK. It says "for Indo-European base
see Thank. Thank?
Under Thank I find, "IE
base *tong-, to think, seen also in L. tongere, to know."
Two ideas sizzle between the hemispheres of my brain. The
first is the curious feeling of "impulse" that caused me to grab the dictionary
to look up the origin of the word Think. This idea is richly colored by the knowledge that
I had no idea what the origin was and the astonishing fact that I somehow managed to open
the 1,720 page book to the page with the word Think on it.
The second idea is the link between the two words, think
and thank. The meaning that "comes to mind" in my conscious mind is, "Thank
you, Lord." As in the feeling of gratitude that comes with a revelation. My mind is
swamped with the implications of this.
The revelation of the two minds in my own head - however I
consider it - is exactly that, a revelation.
My physical reaction was to grab a dictionary that linked
the ancient meaning of the word think with thank. As in, what: I am supposed to be
thankful for the revelation? Or as in another layer of instruction? Telling me that the
process of thinking involves the exchange of ideas between the two hemispheres.
Originally, before the human language mind of consciousness
evolved, when someone told us something we did not know, we were grateful for the thought;
for the revelation. I'm thinking of the primitive society in which a father passes along
the knowledge of how to make an arrow-head to his eldest son, and the feeling of awe and
gratitude in the son's mind when the new concepts became part of his own knowing. We have
polluted this gratitude by the sheer magnitude of information crammed into our beans in
school. Not many kids fall down in gratitude to their teachers for imprinting their little
neurons with new idea. But a few thousand years ago each new idea was passed along with
great ceremony and caution.
I decide to call the right cerebral hemisphere
"Lefty" because it controls the left side of my body. I, the conscious me, am
"Righty." "Ok, Lefty," I say, "No more mysterious inner voice. I
know where you are now." I go into the head and look into the mirror. I look at the
left side of my face. I look into my left eye with my right eye.
I shift my attention, my awareness, to my left eye and look
into my right eye in the mirror. There is a shift in background perspective. I shift back
to the right. Then back again to the left. I don't think in words. I just move my
awareness from one eye to the other and look deep into the clear black pupil of the
opposite eye.
After a few minutes, when I shift, my awareness undergoes a
marked change. The moment I try to think about it in words the shift clicks away from me
and I resume the role of the commentator. But when I avoid thinking in words I am able to
move my "self" to Lefty's viewpoint. I can isolate myself within the silent
being I have always thought of as my unconscious. The unconscious becomes conscious.
The first thing I notice is, Lefty is crazy. This causes me
to drop back into Righty's perspective pretty fast. But on shifting back again, the second
thing I discover is, Lefty is supposed to be bonkers because Lefty is not responsible for
reality testing. It dreams anything at all without restrictions of what is real or
imaginary. Lefty uses Righty to test what is real. I am the practical reality tester.
Lefty is the poetic dreamer.
People who get stuck in the left-side mind get locked up in
funny-farms. People who get stuck completely in the right side mind are character actors
who isolate themselves completely from their dreams. They are robots of civilization. A
balance between the two brings the proper mix of intuition, dreams and imagination with
the ability to carry out those dreams and ideas in the real world.
What a spooky feeling. I'm meeting someone who has been
watching me for years. Someone who knows me in the most intimate way possible, but who is
also a stranger. Lefty is a being I never even knew existed, but Lefty knows all about me.
Even now, I know practically nothing about Lefty, and I think Lefty wants it just that
way.
The experiment is unaccountably tiring. Belatedly, I
realize Lefty is taking control of my body and actually redirecting blood away from my
thinking centers. The dreaming, insane mind stumbles my body aft and flops down on the
bed. I fight to gain control, to stay awake, to be aware, but Lefty effortlessly thrusts
me into a deep, profound, dreamless sleep.
"Are you there?" Freddy's voice wakes me up.
"I'm back." I get up and help her put the groceries down below. We stow the food
and Freddy, after a brief inspection of Dr. Walter the Cat, goes off with Arlene again.
When she is gone, I start to put away the finished
Moirascopes. I'm trying to remember something. Ahhh yes. Yes. Lefty/Righty. As I went to
sleep, against my conscious will, I thought of something. Lefty takes over when I'm asleep
or unconscious. It's a phase shift. When I wake, the analogue, dreaming mind shifts to the
digital, calculating mind. The night-time mind balances relationships while the day-time
mind checks details. Lefty knows all about this and I can suck some of this information
out of it.
The pineal gland, the "Third Eye" of the mystics,
actually does control the phase shift of awareness. The pineal gland began as a reptilian
adaptation. The Tuatara lizard in New Zealand still has the primitive third eye in the
middle of its forehead. The pineal gland is the only vertebrate gland that secretes a
hormone on exposure to sunlight. When our ancestral reptiles lay out in the early morning
sun the third eye generated a hormone, melanotin, causing the skin to darken. The hormone
darkened reptile warmed up quickly in the sunlight and was ready to take off running
sooner than its reptilian predators. Evolution moved the gland deeper into the skull and
today it rests at the base of the brain, just next to the optic chiasma (the place where
the optic nerves cross before threading into the big cerebral hemispheres.)
In the morning, when the sun comes up, the pineal gland
switches on as sunlight filters through the eyelids and activates the optic nerves. The
modern hormone, a chemical relative of melanotin, is serotonin. And this shifts awareness
from the dreaming left side mind to the right side mind. Some of the modern designer
drugs, like LSD, attach to the neural receptors for serotonin and force awareness to stay
in the leftside mind - the non-reality testing mind - bringing hallucinations and other
imaginative disorders.
When the system is functioning normally,
serotonin from the pineal gland shifts awareness into the rightside mind in the morning
and the conscious mind wakes up to become the ego of the waking body. During the shift,
the conscious mind is briefly aware of the nocturnal dreams. If it does not make a sincere
effort, however, the dreams are not piped through and Righty never even knows they exist.
The two hemispheres work together the same way the left and
right hands work together. I put my two hands together and press. I can create pressure
between the two hands. One works against the other but they achieve a multitude of my
bilateral goals by their opposing force.
On a mental level, the leftside dreaming mind opposes the
rightside practical mind and the pressures created between reality and dreams stimulate
creative drives.
On a larger scale, in many societies, men and women pairs
often echo the same process. The woman plays the role of Lefty the Dreamer and the man,
Righty the Provider.
On a larger community scale, left wing factions are the
revolutionary dreamers while the hard eyed practical right wingers are the conservative
accountants of finance and war.
On a global scale, I see the planet divided into two
hemispheres, a leftist, dreaming, impractical communistic hemisphere and a rightist,
narrow minded, individually oriented hemisphere. The pressure points between these
hemispheres drive the Hominids to astounding creative efforts - like rockets and hydrogen
bombs and super sensitive ears which listen on all wave lengths, everywhere, all at once.
The right/left pattern of behavior walks awareness forward
through the planetary evolution.
One hand washes the other but both hands wash the face.
Lefty laughs at that, enjoying itself. Lefty wants to show me something.
"OK, Lefty, go ahead," I become the silent
observer while Lefty walks my body over to the book case and takes out the dictionary
again. Lefty flips the book open - without thumbing or fumbling or page turning - directly
to a page. Flop. Lefty focuses my eyes immediately on the word Person. It is on the upper
left corner of the left page. Lefty giggles, makes sure I take note of that - Upper Left,
get it?
I don't think it's funny. In fact, I'm feeling a mixture of
awe, irritation and jealousy. I've owned this dictionary since college. Whenever I go to
use it, I have to paw through the 1720 tissue thin pages, hunting laboriously for a
particular word. Twice today Lefty just flopped it open and nailed my eyes on the proper
word in one motion. I can't get over this simple act. Finally, I focus on the definition
Lefty wants me to read.
"Per.son n. [ME. & OFr. persone;
L. persona, lit., face mask used by actors, hence a character, person] 1. a
human being, especially as distinguished from a thing or lower animal; individual man,
woman, or child: as, he is a kind person."
Per Sona. Through Sound. The hominid ape, masked by
the sound of language. The disk jockey up there in the glass house broadcasting to the
world completely unaware of how the radio station works, unaware of how the news he reads
webs in through the greater system to become the words he speaks. The big ego playing a
role, a character actor, a commentator, an announcer. That's me. OK, smart guy, Mr.
Scientist, exactly how does the brain form a word? Any word at all? No idea.
Lefty wants me to notice something else. The change in
meaning is not accidental. The mask covering a pink gorilla through which sound acts out a
role in a drama has become, in modern vernacular, a human being. A curious, almost
humorous play on word-use. Who is the director of this? How was the word changed in
precisely this way? Lefty thinks this is hysterically funny, but I don't know why.
I've known all this along. On one level, I've known Lefty
all my life. But now, somehow, having lefty right there showing me this, it's different,
more important, vital. Lefty can't (won't) speak except in poetic riddles and music. The
puffed up jabbering announcer that is my conscious mind is too dumb - or maybe not allowed
- to understand the real relationship between the two minds. Somehow my fiddling around
with hypnosis, mind games, and Moirascopes has broken through this mental restriction.
I start to put down the dictionary and get another shock.
It is now open to another page. I don't remember turning the pages back. Lefty directs my
eyes down to the right hand page and I see "Per.ceive" Per, through + capere,
to take. To take through.
OK, Lefty. I understand. My total body and brain receives
input from all of reality. The light hits all the cells of my retina, my ears hear all
sounds reaching them, my skin feels every tiny sensation. My nose smells everything all
the time. But these sensory inputs are taken through a
filter. And the filter is in Lefty's domain. The flood of raw data are Perceived and the filtered version is presented to the commentator
as a manuscript to read or comment upon. Got it. Right.
Lefty also points out the chance placement of Per.son on
the upper left page of the dictionary and the chance placement of Per.ceive on the right
page. A coincidence, but thinking about this seems to force me into a new, third kind of
mind state. A blend of left and right mind floods over me.
I was wrong. Lefty is not Voice. Voice is something
different. Voice lives here, in this third level of awareness, a harmonic of right and
left minds interacting with some greater awareness outside of myself.
Everything is clear to this level of mind. I am again,
briefly, on that mental mountain top I shared with Walter in the Solomon Island. I
overlook a vista of understanding. The landscape overflows with relationships the
conscious Commentator "I" never even imagined.
I hold up my hand and stare at it. "Who built this
hand?", Voice demands. The answer is in the landscape of my fingers. "I
did," the Commentator whispers. The being standing here, the total mind within me
built this hand. The Announcer has absolutely no understanding of how this was done and
does not remember doing it. But the total being which is me built this hand, this body,
from a single fertilized egg. I did it. I built the hand, I maintain the hand, I operate
the hand.
This is such a blazing truth I just stand there staring at
my left hand, holding the heavy dictionary in the right and I start to laugh - it is not
just me laughing, Lefty and I laugh together. Like brothers who have found themselves
after being separated since birth.
"I'm glad you think it's funny," Freddy is in the
cockpit, cuddling Walter who is still dopey. There is no more bleeding and although he
will have a tender bottom for a few days he should be OK.
"I'm not laughing at Walter," I did not even hear
her come aboard.
"What's so funny, then?" she looks down at me,
glances at the dictionary.
"Just thinking about the three stooges," Inner
Voice Groucho quips. Lefty and the Announcer chuckle, while Freddy looks confused. "I
think maybe they were so successful because they reflect three characters inside all of
us: the stupid, the silent, and the wise ass." the Announcer commentates. Lefty says
nothing, as usual.
THE ONE IN THE MIDDLE

Freddy has gone to a Jewelry making class leaving me alone
with Walter the cat and a variety of minor projects. There is a sailboat race - mostly of
the lightning class - in the harbor today and Moira is one of the course markers. Each
time one of the 18-foot boats comes streaking past, Walter races below and looks up the
companionway as if the devil himself is passing by.
"What's the matter Walter?" I wonder why he's so
afraid of them? As I sand away on the new hatch cover I'm making, I think about a group of
aborigines I saw this morning in the small park next to the sport fishing wharf.
There were, I think, three women, a couple of kids, and
four or five men. It was hard to tell because all but one of the men were asleep under the
bushes in the park. The one who wasn't asleep was intent on drinking himself into
oblivion.
Somehow, seeing them in the greenery highlighted the
contrast between the aborigines and the Europeans walking past on the white cement
sidewalk, headed for the supermarkets and shopping malls and the post office. The black
face of the drunken man swiveled to point in my direction. His black eyes gave me a chilly
feeling like there was an emptiness inside....
Another sailboat soars by, the teenagers laughing and
jumping with delight to the other side of the boat as they comes about, some 10 meters
astern of us. Walter vanishes in a puff of fluff.
The contrast between the "Aboriginals" and the
"Aussies" comes into focus as the furiously concentrating youths manipulate
their craft into the wind, hiking out to keep it from capsizing. Europeans look upon
nature as something outside of themselves - a force to be tackled and beaten. Analytical,
competitive, acquisitive, developing new ideas to accelerate the development of new ideas.
To go faster, further, with change, itself, as the most important progress.
The men of the forest do not even have a word for progress.
They respond and relate to the sum total of their environment. To the Aboriginals, nature was a
sacred, larger part of their individual and collective selves. Nature was a living thing,
and had powers and abilities beyond the awareness of the people - powers they could
capture using certain rituals. The rituals focused the people's awareness on a static,
unchanging world view. No progress possible.
I sand the hatch and watch the sailboats scare Walter. One
after another 18-foot long racing sailboats (some worth over $10,000) tack astern of the
Moira. Some pass to port, some to starboard. Walter and I are surrounded by them. Walter
is curious about what I'm doing. He likes to help by watching every move. But whenever he
comes cautiously out of the hatch, the kids come flapping by and he vanishes below again,
looking over his shoulder with fear written all over his face.
Genetics must play a role in this difference. R.J. Forbes
defined man as "A tinkerer, playing with ideas and mechanisms." He named mankind
Homo faber. The main characteristic of H. faber is the absolute need to
develop any new idea, regardless of consequences. It is not a thing H. faber
consciously thinks about, but rather a compulsive, genetic behavior pattern. To think of
an idea is to develop it.
But Mr. Forbes didn't see that drunk Coorie (which is, I am told the correct name for an Aboriginal Australian) in the park this
morning. They and many other kinds of people on the planet don't have that compulsive
behavior pattern for progress. Does this mean Homo faber and Homo sapiens
might be different species? I snort, that was an unpopular idea back in Hitler's day. I
put down the sanding block and change the sandpaper. It is a beautiful day and the
sailboats are now little specks of color notching the green mangroves on the other side of
the harbor.
I begin to sand again, and Walter is back topside watching.
I am creating my own paradox with this genetic versus cultural business. After all, each
individual inherits both. Both are passed down from generation to generation. The cultural
genes are really not so different from the DNA genes. One operates in a community of cells
and the other in a community of individual multicellular animals.
I go below to get
out of the sun and have a cold glass of water.
New ideas are kind of like biological mutations
in the superorganism of mankind. Each new
idea is a reordering of the neural tissue
of collective man - a new kind of synapse.
I stare at the empty glass realizing there
is something important in this concept. Neurons
really do make new synapses, new
tentacles, when the brain processes new
ideas. These neuronal connections form a physical
network, pathways of communications, in the
brain. The new pathways create new behavioral
modes and lock these into young minds.
This all important process is most active during infancy,
when the young mind/body is learning how to apply its genetic prototype to environmental
pressures.
Back to work. The racers are now running downwind, going
slower, their progress tipsier in the flat-bottomed skiffs. The hatch cover is looking
good. I try it on over the sliding companionway hatch and it fits fine. Just a little more
sanding on the smooth part and a coat of paint.
Maybe the main mutation separating Homo faber from
the other cells of man was the one which transferred his focus from the world of nature to
the second world of language and technology. DNA genetic material may influence how H.
faber will react, but the environment he will react to is taught to him by his
society.
Yes. Like a cell in a body, H. faber has the same
genetic code as all the other cells of mankind but the code is read differently than it is
in cells located in other parts and positions of the body of mankind.
This is somehow more complex and yet simpler than the
"genes vs environment" paradox because it has to do with the embryological
development of populations of cells. If one cell is cut free from a frog embryo when it is
at the four cell stage, it and the remaining three cells will both develop into two normal
frogs. Take a cell from an embryo which is a few hours old, with maybe 64 cells, and place
it in a different position within the same mulberry shaped embryo and it will develop into
a perfectly normal frog.
After a certain point in development, some sort of
molecular switch activates. A cell cut out from the embryo after the switch is thrown will
continue to become whatever it would have been if left alone. After this point in
development, if a nerve cell is removed from an embryonic mass and put back with cells
which are muscle tissue, it will still develop into a nerve cell. Past a certain point in
cell development, a proto-frog-eye cell placed anywhere in the community of frog cells
develops will form a third eye, even though it is in a new environment. Even though it has
exactly the same DNA as all the other cells. I've seen photographs of three-eyed frogs,
the third eye parked right in the middle of their heads looking perfectly normal in every
respect. I wonder what kind of a world-view three-eyed frogs have?
The hatch cover is complete except
for the paint. The work has gone quickly. I wander below to wash up and as I dry my
hands, I catch myself looking at myself in the mirror. I study the face critically,
wondering what it would look like with a third eye parked in the middle of the forehead.
Then I notice something wrong - odd about my face. Christ, it looks OLD! I am looking at
an older man. Myself, but perhaps 45 or 50 years old.
The illusion is fantastically real and I hold still,
looking at the older face, trying not to "force" whatever is happening. I allow
myself to drop into a hypnotic waiting awareness, just observing. My stomach drops back
down to its normal position and I breathe normally again.
The instant I do this, the illusion speaks.
"I of now, I am your son. I am you, tomorrow. Though I
seem older, look as you think older looks, I am not your father. I am your son, more
modern than you of now.
"I am the product of your ambitions, the result of
your desires. I am the result of you, you caused me."
The image smiles at me and I sense a wealth of thought in
that smile. With a laugh in its voice the older man says, "The youngest of you and I
is the wisest. Keep in touch."
My normal face looks back at me out of the mirror, smiling
but not the same kind of smile the older face had. I close my eyes and peer inside my mind
just in time to see faint wisps of gossamer threads retreating over the horizons of time.
Now what the hell was all that about? Inner Voice must have
done it to demonstrate something. But what? All this thinking about behavioral genetics of
Homo sapiens and Homo faber and third eyes of frogs must tie together
somehow. But how?
The instant I ask the question, the word destiny pops up
on my inner screen. This lesson has been about how the process of individual destiny gets
fixed, whether the individual is a species evolving over millions of years, a cell
undergoing development, or a person, like me, growing older. Behavior leads individuals
along certain paths. At each step, the individual is guided by every previous step.
Sometimes, one steps beyond a certain boundary and there can be no turning back.
Because.... here is the critical part... because. Damn. I can see it but not say it.
This is really important.
I can think of examples. A man has lots of things he can do
with his life. Lets say he manages to get elected President of the United States. Once he
is elected, he passes a critical point. He can no longer do whatever he wants. Because the
whole population of people on the planet have certain expectations and demands to make of
the hominid in his behavioral position.
Or, it's like how the people of the Solomons give Holy Mama
charisma. It is the interaction between Silas Eto and the whole society which creates
the spiritual power guiding their cultural development.
Or, like that third eye. A cell can develop into almost any
part of a frog. Once the "I'm an eye" internal molecular switch is thrown,
however, the rest of the cell-population recognizes that particular cell as a proto-eye
and responds accordingly, hooking up nerves, blood vessels, muscles, and FORCING an
environment in which the eye cell MUST become an eye.
What I want to say, but can't seem to get down correctly,
has to do with this interaction. The critical interaction between the individual and the
population to which it belongs. Here is a key to destiny. Here is the key to understanding
how evolution works. But I have no mental model to apply, no words to express it, no logic
system to explain it. Feedback, cybernetics, dynamic interaction, none of these terms or
concepts work. Because it has to do with purposeful awareness. It is a function of mind,
not engineering.
"I'm back," Freddy calls. Walter scrambles up the
companionway to greet her. Confused and angry with myself for not being able to pin this
idea down, I follow Walter onto Moira's deck.
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